The Disappearance Of Good Old-Fashioned Romance

Sexuality Thought Leader: Beth Keil 

If you’ve ever seen the romantic comedy, Kate and Leopold, you may have noticed all of the references to food, romance, and intimacy. 

What’s food got to do with it?

In one scene, Kate makes dinner for both her brother and Leopold. After Leopold cuts up the reheated tater-tots on his plate, he asks what’s for the main course.

You probably figured out this was the meal!

In response, Leopold tells them, where I come from, the meal is a result and reflection of study. Menus are planned in advance. It is said, without the culinary arts, the cruelness of reality would be unbearable. Read that last paragraph again.

How many of us enjoy meals as a culinary experience born from reflection, an endeavor designed to create an experience filled with beauty and pleasure? 

“Being a romantic in this culture has come to mean you have stars in your eyes.”

Losing Our Taste For Romance:

We learned and have become accustomed to grabbing something to eat and eating on the run. Instead of focusing on creating and enjoying the experience, eating has become task-oriented. But, as Leopold tells us, Life is not solely comprised of tasks, but of tastes.

In subtle and not-so-subtle ways, the processed and fast-food industries have contributed to losing our taste for romance. Your taste buds got dumbed down. You forgot that all of your senses are part of the experience (why else do we have them??). So is taking time to savor what you’re eating.

With all of this in mind, how filling and fulfilling is romance and intimacy when time, taste, and pleasure aren’t on the menu? Like fast food, romance becomes transactional.

Is Being A Romantic Realistic?

Being a romantic in this culture has come to mean you have stars in your eyes. You aren’t realistic and don’t see the world as it is. And definitely, it isn’t sustainable! 

Instead, what you need is to grow up, watch chick flicks, or read romance novels. The bigger message is the only place you’ll have such romance is in your fantasy world. Now, not only have our taste buds been dumbed down, but so have our needs, wants, and desires. It’s time to reclaim what is yours.

Four Simple Steps To Reclaim Romance:

1. Notice Our Language:

We already have a culinary art vocabulary for romance and intimacy 

I want to taste your kisses …
Your scent is intoxicating …
You are so hot …
I want to suck and lick … (use your imagination)

“The bigger message is the only place you’ll have such romance is in your fantasy world.”

2. Change How You Eat:

Focus on what you eat. Let it spark your five outer senses (sight, smell, touch, taste, and hearing)

• Look at what you’re eating. Put down the phone, turn off the screen, even the book.
• Take in the aromas of your food – the scents of the seasonings or how it was cooked.
• Feel the textures of the food in your mouth. Touch what you’re eating.
• Taste the flavors of what you’re eating. Your tongue has taste buds for very this reason!
• What sounds do you notice? Is your food crispy or crunchy? What does it sound like as you eat it?

3. Use Your Inner Senses:

As you eat (your imagination, emotions, body sensations, and intuition)

• Imagine, with your eyes closed, the type of food you’re hungry for using all of your five outer senses.
• How do you feel as you eat? What emotions and memories does it bring up for you?
• How does your body feel as you anticipate, as well as eat, your meal?
• Notice when you feel full. Use your intuition (inner knowingness) for how satisfied you feel. Does what you’re eating feel good for your body? Do you even like it?

4. Make A List Of Romantic Gestures:

Let your imagination run wild! Write them down (pen to paper) as it takes thoughts and feelings to ground them into your body. Write without editing or revisions. And keep going! Then, only later, read what you wrote out loud. If you have a romantic partner, suggest they do the same. Then read your lists to each other. 

Begin to explore what you can start doing now. Keep in mind, it’s important to let one another know how much you appreciate their gestures! Think of this as romancing one another!

Here’s to Aphrodite Rising!

Did you enjoy this article? Become a Kuel Life Member today to support our Community. Sign-up for our Sunday newsletter and get your content delivered straight to your inbox.

[gap height=”30px”] 

About the Author:

Kuel Life

See all author post